The Ampleforth Mummers Play

The Ampleforth Mummers Play as performed by Monkseaton Morrismen, - 1981
(Clown enters followed by dancers and musician. Dancers disperse to sides of arena.)
Clown	Here come I that ne’er come yet With my great big head and little wit. Though my head be great and my wit be small I’ve six fine lads to please you all. My head’s made of iron, My heart’s made of steel. My hands and feet of knuckle bone I challenge you out to feel.
(Enter King.)
King	I am a King and a conqueror too And here I do advance.
(Clown smacks King on bottom with sword)
Clown	And I am the clown of this noble town And I’ve come to see thee dance. Come on my six brave heroes.
(Team forms into line.)
Clown	Your valor has been tried, All on the plains of Waterloo these six fought side by side. And all you pretty lasses that’s sitting round about These are six handsome husbands that ever were turned out. They’ll make you loving sweethearts, For ever they’ll be true. They’ll fight for you as manfully as they did at Waterloo. So now you’ve seen us all, Think of us what you will, Music, strike up and play T’auld Wife of Coverdill.
(Dance commences and at end musician is killed and dancers flee into crowd. Clown comes forward and trips over body)
The Dance Commences
Clown	‘Tis rough ground!
King	What’s the matter here?
(Clown points at body)

Clown	A man, dead!
King	I fear you killed him.
Clown	No! He near killed me! Come on you villains, And declare yourselves.
(Each dancer comes into open declaring his Innocence and accusing others with much venom.)
1st Dance	'Twas not I that did this bloody act 'Twas he that followed me that did it for a fact!
2nd Dancer	I’m sure its none of I that did this awful crime. ‘Twas he that followed me that drew his sword so fine!
3rd Dance	Don’t lay the blame on me you awful villains all. I’m sure my eyes were shut when this young man did fall!
4th Dancer	How could you eyes be shut when I was looking on. I’m sure that you were there when first these swords were drawn!
5th Dance	(Walks towards King shaping up for a fight.) Our King has done this deed and lays the blame on me. Before I take the blame I’ll try my sword with thee!
(They fight and rest of team separate them.)
Copyright of Monkseaton Morrismen and Folk Dance Club